Notes from the Parenting Seminar

Notes from the Parenting Seminar

A more Christlike way of parenting.
~ Perspective: Our children are children of God.  Pray for a desire to know your children as Heavenly Father knows them.  The Holy Ghost is our best teacher.
~ Goals: Don't forget to establish an outcome. Where do you see your family in 5 years or 10 years?
~ Sanctified: Examine what you do every day to become sanctified. As we purify ourselves we are open to revelation.  Some ways include prayer, service, temple attendance, forgiveness, repentance, fasting for our children and for our marriage.

We want our children to behave well because it is best, not to avoid the negative.
THINGS TO AVOID:
Criticism (finding fault)
Arguing (trying to prove you are right or your child is wrong. You can tell within 7 seconds if your discussion is turing into a pointless argument, or if it will be resolved.
Threats (Includes bribe, bargaining, deals.  "If you eat your vegetables, you can have a cookie.")
Sarcasm (Even with a smile or laugh is hurtful.)
Force (shouting, hitting, hurting)

WHEN YOUR CHILDREN MISBEHAVE
Two types of misbehavior:
Consequential - hurts things or people (Stop the action and redirect the child's attention.)
Inconsequential - Something that annoys you.  This you should ignore with a purpose and reinforce the good.
*The behavior your pay attention to is what will get repeated!
Your kids want your attention more than anything else. When children behave well, acknowledge appropriate behaviors in a positive way.  Give your attention through touch, notes, smiles, praise, etc.  Don't give it every time though. (Think of a slot machine. If every time you put in a quarter, a quarter came out, it wouldn't be as meaningful when you win!)
Every hour with your children should include at least 20 positive reactions.
    Be Sincere, Casual, Brief, and add variety.
Make a list of your child's values and as you see them throughout the day, you can praise them for that value they are building.

"Satan knows that the surest and most effective way to disrupt the Lord's work is to diminish the effectiveness of the family and the sanctity of the home.  - Elder M Russell Ballard.